So you've noticed that we mention the Death Star every now and then. Maybe you're wondering whether it's a metaphor, a marketing gimmick, or a real space weapon. The answer is yes.
The Death Star in brief
Valco is a 14-person company. We make headphones and speakers. Every device we sell funds 0.000001% of the Death Star. This means that at the current sales pace, the project will be completed roughly when the sun burns out. But that's no reason not to try.
The Death Star project is our way of saying out loud what every company really thinks: we want your money. The difference is that we admit it. Others talk about "deepening the customer experience" and "creating value for stakeholders." We say the money buys beer, pays child support, and budgets a Ferrari for Henri – because the Alfa Romeo breaks down every other week.
What really happens to your money
Let's start with where the money doesn't go: advertising. We can't afford a Super Bowl ad. Nor do we want to. Instead, the money goes roughly like this:
- Jasse's ears. They're insured, and for good reason. Jasse tunes the sound of every product by hand, because automation can't tell good sound from bad. The human ear can.
- In-house service in Kajaani. We repair, we don't throw away. This costs more than the "buy a new one" model, but it's the right thing to do.
- Product development. VMK25.2 didn't come about by copying the competitor's homework. It came from listening to customers and Jasse locking himself in the studio for a week.
- Henri budgets for a Ferrari. Currently he drives an Alfa Romeo that's in the shop more than on the road. Raimo – our spiritual leader – has stated that the only real car is the Mercedes-Benz W124 and everything else is junk. We argue about this at the office weekly.
- Death Star. That 0.000001% per purchase. By our calculations, we've now built a single bolt.
Why we talk bullshit with a straight face
Because the alternative is to talk bullshit with a straight face and pretend it's not bullshit. Every company wants to sell. We just can't be bothered to pretend our motive is "making the world a better place." Our motive is to make headphones so good that you buy them – and then tell your friend. That's our marketing strategy. The whole strategy.
The Death Star is a reminder that we're a small company that doesn't take itself too seriously. We do take headphones seriously. We don't compromise on them.
How you can speed up the project
Buy headphones. Or a speaker. Or both. Nordell MK3 is great for summer, VMK25.2 suits winter, NL25 fits in your pocket. Every purchase brings us a step closer to a fully operational space weapon – or at least to getting Henri that Ferrari.
Bye, and thanks for all the money.
