Do the headphones contain a piece of someone's soul?
We get this question surprisingly often. Well, no we don't. But someone did ask it on Discord at 3 AM once, and it's been haunting us ever since.
Background
Jasse spends hundreds of hours tuning the sound of every headphone model. He listens to the same test track over and over, adjusts frequency responses one decibel at a time, and talks to the headphones by name. This is not normal. We're not claiming it is.
So it's theoretically possible that a small piece of Jasse's soul has transferred into every unit. Like Voldemort, but instead of hiding soul fragments inside precious heirlooms, Jasse hid his inside 40mm titanium-coated drivers.
Technical explanation
If the headphones feel like they "understand" you, it's most likely down to the Harman target curve used in the sound tuning. It's a researched frequency response that most people find pleasant. The human ear is most sensitive in the 2–5 kHz range, and well-tuned headphones take this into account. It's not magic. It's an audio engineer's obsession.
But we haven't officially debunked the soul fragment theory either.
Symptoms
- You feel safe when the headphones are on your head
- You feel like the bass is "hugging" you
- Your relationship is suffering because you spend more time with the headphones than with your partner
- Taking the headphones off causes existential emptiness
What should you do?
Nothing. Just enjoy it. The headphones don't judge you. They won't ask why you ate an entire pizza by yourself. They won't remind you about the bin bags.
If you feel the need to release the soul fragment, you can return the headphones to us. Jasse will perform the ritual at the Kajaani service centre. Return shipping is €6.90, and part of the proceeds go towards building a Death Star, which also requires some form of soul transfer to operate.
Or you can just keep listening. We won't tell anyone.
